G.G.C.-2244 (HOLE 1)

It was a perfect day for golf. Sunshine, clear skies and the temperature was 72 degrees. There were winds at 15-25 mph. The first hole was a (1162 yard Par 4). It was pretty flat, dog leg left. The first to tee off was the defending champion... 'Sir Walter Byron Nelson'. His robotic caddy handed him a driver and said "My G.P.S. calculations compute.....the fairway is 475 yards before the dog leg left. Be very wary of trying to cut the corner due to the left to right wind gusts. I highly recommend a 35 degree hook with 75% velocity. Sir Walter agreed and drove the ball about 625 yards in the fairway. Next to tee was 'Johann Svenick' of Sweden. He went for the short cut into the wind and failed. Johann had hit the ball 700 yards into the rough blocked by a bush. Next was the "Granny". With a robotic caddy. She hit the ball right down the middle. A whopping 250 yards. Next was 'Matt McClubber'. He hopped to the tee. He had a Australian caddy. Handed him a driver and said to let it rip. He was the drive 'King' but, had no short game. He had a mammoth shot over the turn of the fairway. A 945 yard drive. Right into the bunker that surround the green. The green was oblong. 100 yards across and 175 yards long. The ball had so much velocity that it went 7 inches into the dirt in the bunker. (He was stuck.). Next was Vladimir. He was approached by his human caddy....cautiously. He was handed a driver. He took it. Lined up to swing the club and hit the ball. During the swing,the caddy accidentally dropped the golf bag(thud!!!) Vladimir hit the ball. Big Slice out of bounds at 550 yards. Vladamir turned to look at the caddy. The caddy was 'high tailing' out of there. In fear for his life. (the G.G.C. RULES STATE.....IF YOUR CADDY BECOMES INOPERABLE OR ISN'T THERE.......YOU MUST CADDY YOURSELF.) 'Vladamir' was on his own. Next was 'Tigre Woo'. He wobbled to the tee with his father(caddy). He was nervous. He soiled himself. Judges called 'Time' so that Mrs. Woo could change his pampers. Tigre was back after 5 minutes. Got his driver from his dad. Everyone around the world...watching. They had never heard of this guy. They all saw in amazement. A 4 year old child drive the ball with a slight hook to the edge of the green. WOW! A 1055 yard drive. His dad quickly handed him his pacifier and said "good shot, Tigre!" His mom put him back in his 'stroller'. Next was 'Yin Lee Chang'. Her caddy was robotic. With the power of a 'Granny' she hit a 2 iron, 300 yards into the fairway. She played it safe. They all headed down the coarse for their second shot. Minus Vladamirs caddy. The first to hit was "Granny." Her caddy was 55 year old piece of junk but, this was her caddy! The caddy started to smoke and clutter. He burst into flames. The directors and judges put the fire out quickly. The caddy was inoperable. Granny mumbled....."I shouldn't have bought him from a yard sale." She knew that she had to carry her bag the rest of the way. She was an experienced golfer. She knew the game. She pulled out a 3 iron. She hit the ball another 200 yards into the fairway. She was very accurate! Only another 712 yards to go. Next to go was 'Chang'. Calculating all the variables of shot. She and Robotic caddy knew what to do. 4 iron over the trees and into the 20 mph winds to get a nice, high slice. She hit the ball. Up it went over the trees, caught the wind and sailed 600 yards into the fairway. She was about 150 yards from the pin. Great shot! She was 10 feet off the edge of the green. Next was Vladamir. He had to take a drop and a stroke penalty. He dropped the ball in a playable position. Carrying his own clubs he took out a 6 iron. Was approx. 600 yards from the green. He lined up to take the shot. Looked around with an 'evil' glare to make sure everyone was still. They were. He hit the ball over the green and into the bunker. He snapped his club in half. He was disgusted. Next was 'Sir Walter Byron Nelson'. He was about 500 yards to the pin. He used a 7 iron. Hit the ball and it flew onto the green. Coming to rest around 3 feet of the hole. NICE! 'Granny' was next to hit again. She had about 600 yards to go. Took out a 'rifle scope' from her bag and used it to look down the rest of the coarse. Stuck her thumb in her mouth to get it moist and stuck it in the air for wind direction. Same 3 iron and hit the ball 350 yards this time. Only about 160 yards to go. Next to go was 'Johann' with 360 yards to go. A bush was blocking his shot. He didn't care. He used a driver again and with all his strength hit the ball and the bush as hard as he could. Johann uprooted the bush. The ball and bush were in the air. The bush flew 100 yards while the ball carried another 300. WOW! He was on the green. 75 yards from the hole. 'Granny' was the furthest from the hole still. It was her 4TH shot. Having to carry her own golf bag....it was extremely tiring to a women 115 years old. 'Granny' was huffing and puffing a little bit. Her bag with all of her accessories weighed around 45lbs. She was a tough old lady. The true..."one tough grandma!". She stared down the next shot like she was a sniper shooting mouse hiding in a haystack. Put down her 'scope' grabbed her 9 iron and swung. The shot was right on target. The ball sailed in the air, hit the green bounced one time and landed in the hole. PAR...PAR...PAR. What an amazing Par! 'Yin Lee Chang' was staring the pin from 150 yards away. Grabbed a 8 iron, waited for the wind to settle, lined up and hit the ball. Her calculations were perfect. The ball sailed and hit the flagstick and fell in. BIRDIE! 'Mate McClubber was standing in the bunker. The ball was buried. He took a sand wedge and hit the ball in the sand.(CLUDD!) The ball bounced up and went 2 feet in front of him in the bunker. (It wasn't buried too deep anymore.) He lined up to take his third shot from the bunker. He shot and the ball stopped 15ft from the hole. Nice save. 'Vladamir' was in the other bunker awaiting to take his shot. He heard a couple of chirps from a couple of birds. 'Vladamir' went tyrant. "SHUT UP! QUIET! SHUT UP! AAARRGGGHH!" The birds flew away. He was hot and took his bunker shot. Great shot. It stopped 2 inches from the hole. "YEEAAAAHHH!" he shouted. pumping his wedge in the air. Yelling "THAT'S A GIMME....THAT'S A GIMME!"......The judges disagreed. Next was 'Tigre'. He stood up from his stoller and his dad handed him a pitching wedge and said.."Tigre, picture that your inside the garage..." Tigre stood there to take the shot. He shot. The ball went towards the hole and rolled in. EAGLE! 'Chang' was on her third shot. 10 feet off of the green. She took a pitching wedge and holed the shot. Amazing! BIRDIE! 'Johann Svenick' was taking his 75 foot putt attempt. Missed by a foot and then tapped in. PAR! Mate McClubber' was lining up for his 15ft putt. It was his 4TH shot. He hit the putt. Nice and easy. Straight for the cup. It was slowing. It was heading for the cup and got to the edge and just stopped rolling. Vladimir was being rude. "Har-Har...Hee-Hee!..." Mate turned and started to HOP towards Vladimir. The vibration made the ball fall into the cup. PAR! 'Sir Byron Nelson' was next. A three foot putt for birdie. No problem. BIRDIE! Last but not least. It was 'Vladamir's' gimme. He lined up to hit the putt when all of a sudden during his backstroke........(Tigre Woo was in his stroller eating 'gerber' cookies when a crow flew down and grabbed a cookie out of Tigres' hand.) He yelled in TERROR! AAAARRRGGGHH!!! Vladimir's putt edged the cup, he missed and the ball was 3 inches away from the cup now. He looked back at Tigre, pointed at the parents and said......"he won't be the first!" with an evil laugh. He tapped in. DOUBLE BOGEY!
LEADERBOARD (HOLE 1)
1.(-2) Tigre Woo 2.(-1)Sir Walter Byron Nelson 2.(-1) Yin Lee Chang 4.(E) Mate McClubber 4.(E) Johann Svenick 4.(E)Linda "Granny" Walker 7.(+2) Vladimir Chekov